My Therapist Ghosted Me

I had been seeing a therapist for a few months before the menopause saga began to unfold. This was mainly spurred on by some naive dream that I could off load all of my emotional baggage onto a complete stranger who would then go on to solve each and every one of my various life dilemmas based on the premise they could understand me so well. The most I actually got out of these sessions was one good book recommendation. I was starting to have doubts that me and my therapist were maybe not the best fit and she wasn't fulfilling the idealistic dream I was chasing, but it wasn't until I decided to share my menopause story that the relationship ground to a holt.

As always at the start of the session she asked me how I had been and what was new in my life. At this point I decided to tell her about the blood tests and my recent diagnosis of an early menopause. She froze up, became slightly awkward and then fiddled with the air conditioning unit for 10 minutes before giving out some valuable life advise about the importance of exercise and eating healthily to maintain good mental health. At this point our time was up and she said she would be in touch to arrange my next appointment. Fast forward 1 month and several unanswered text messages later and I came to terms with the fact our relationship was over.

My fertility specialist offered to refer me to a fertility therapist through the NHS but once again the waiting list was too long. The first available appointment being a year after my original diagnosis.

I have since had a few phone sessions with this therapist (thanks to COIVD and no face to face appointments) and she does keep trying to check in, but the reality is when I needed someone to speak to professionally the support wasn't there. By the time I had my first consultation with the NHS fertility therapist I had tried to deal with things myself, I'd had too as there was no other option. I was in a completely different place, she was asking the questions I wish I'd been asked at the time of diagnosis but now a year on I'd had to muddle my way through them alone.

It isn't anyones fault. I don't blame the therapist who ghosted me for doing so. She must have felt out of her comfort zone and wasn't sure how to help. This can be scary and I get that. Equally the therapist I eventually talked too through the NHS has all the best intentions and offers some sound advise, sadly this just hasn't aligned with my own personal journey and my own need for support. I'm still not sure what the best form of support is. It's not a subject talked about very much and those that do talk about it are still usually a lot older than I am and as a result have different fears and obstacles to overcome.