Navigating Infertility Triggers in Social Circles Amidst the Mormon Wives Controversy

So I was watching " The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" Season 2 and there is one episode where all the girls are away for the weekend on a friends trip. One of the wives decides to play a game of "Pregnancy Roulette" where all the women have to take a pregnancy test and then they all pick one of of a basket to see if anyone is pregnant. The background to this game is that one of the women in the group is struggling with fertility issues and openly struggling to get pregnant with he husband. Which begs the questions "WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU EVER SUGGEST A GAME LIKE THIS?!"

So many things are wrong with this...

1. If you know your friend is going through struggles why would you make her engage in such a triggering and awful experience. Even to do this to your worst enemy is cruel beyond belief!

2. Pregnancy is such a personal journey if your friend was pregnant to "expose" them or force them into sharing this highly sensitive news is ignorant and disrespectful.

3. Pregnancy is such a blessing to those fortunate and a gut wrenching reminder to all those struggling, to reduce it to an ill-thought-out game is insensitive and heartless.

4. The game itself is ridiculous and careless, pregnancy is not something to be treated so lightly and with such a dismissive playful attitude., with no acknowledgement of the struggles and risks associated.

Insensitivity and ignorance come hand in hand.

Unfortunately any one who has struggled with their fertility will understand insensitivity and ignorance come hand in hand. People do not mean to be insensitive but it is hard for them to understand just how triggering everything can be when they have never had to consider infertility as a reality. It can make people seem insensitive to words or actions that, while routine to them, can reopen deep wounds for someone living with infertility. This game is an example of that at its most harmful. As women, we need to stand by each other — and sometimes that means being more mindful in how we navigate these moments, so that we all feel seen, respected, and supported.

Triggering to watch.

Even as a bystander watching this game play out on the television, it was so triggering to watch. To watch the pain this poor women feels and to watch all those around her unable to fully relate or understand. The words of comfort seemed almost empty, because clearly no one truly understood her pain. Further to this the two women who were pregnant were then upset because the game had "ruined their pregnancy announcement" and turned it from a moment of joy to a sour moment. Now whilst I can empathise with this to an extent, this completely distracts from the devastating experience that your infertile friend is experiencing in the room next door.

Ultimately this game was a terrible idea from the outset and watching it play out on television was a triggering experience on a number of levels for those involved and those observing.